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I didn't sign up for this...

Ok well maybe I did, but something must have been hidden in the fine print. It's been one of those days that no amount of chocolate or wine can ease. The little boys have been crazy. Small boy (as he calls himself) is overly sensitive to everything. And then munchkin won't stop eating. All day he's been the bottomless pit. I'm really not sure where he fits it in his not quite 2 yr old body. But the best part (ha) was that I fought with my husband today. And it was ugly. We've had our arguments before and typically it diffuses and nothing hurtful is said by either party. We fight a clean fight. Not today. Today will stand forever in my mind as the day my beloved and wonderful husband became the spiteful and venomous snake. Ugh. But it passed and things have settled down and even though it still hurts when I think about it...we'll be ok. Of course then to add to it, I've got a moody teenager in the house that's irritated that he didn't get to see his girlfriend today. Really? Get a off the xbox and get a job for the 10th time. I know, I know, we could turn it off but that won't help the moodiness. Sometimes I really hate being the only woman in the house.
Now where is that chocolate?...

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And it's going to be okay...

Wow...the school year has come and gone and I've MIA. I wish I could blame my absence on something concrete or cosmically spectacular. But perhaps that is exactly what has been keeping me away. Strangely enough I've done alot of searching for something concrete or cosmically spectacular...or just something. I discovered at the end of summer I was tired of being restless and static. So I took a leap and decided to go back to work. And as the opportunity presented itself, I nearly recoiled...afraid. Afraid of what exactly, I was unsure. Perhaps it was the time I might lose or maybe it was just my persistent insecurities. And there have been days since taking on the responsibility that I have been terrified. But the school year has ended and it seems like everything has worked out. The last several months have been revealing in a complicated way. And that's putting it mildly. I've found my concrete & spectacular and it's in the same place. I have finally become accustomed with the idea of me. It's not a me that I expected. It's not always pretty or kind. And I'm not talking in a physical sense. I'm ragged and sun faded, more like a sail that's seen more days of bad weather than good. But in the same turn.. I'm steadfast. Unwavering. I've withstood the storm and come out clean on the other side. And it's okay. I have found who I am and it's a good thing.

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It's Official...(and a kiss is all it takes)

My baby boy is officially 1 year old now.

A short while ago it was still the eve of his first birthday and he was fighting sleep. As usual he squirms and flops until all at once, he's motionless and suddenly snoring. We call him Darth Vader considering the noise he makes. Funny how he's also called Yoda because of his hair and wrinkling forehead. One would think he's growing up in a house of Star Wars fanatics but alas, he is not. Daddy hasn't even seen all the episodes. I digress... Back to my original thought. Oh yes, the fact that my little baby is now my big baby since his brother is now my big boy. Brother is not wanting to grow up. 3 is such a hard age to be apparently, he keeps sneaking the pacifier. Problem is that he shows me he's sneaking it and then has to give it up. Each day they both get bigger..and older. My baby is running through the house most days already saying "get you" as he chases you down the hall. But the best is when he gets in trouble..puckers his mouth..reaches up and says "kiss".

*melt*

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Dilemma

So how do you praise a 3 yr old for going wee-wee in the potty when he denies going wee-wee in the potty? I saw him go. He was trying and accomplished. But during the whole event he was so distraught and forlorn that now I can't even soothe him with Spider-Man stickers.

It must be tough to be 3.

Observation

The breath of my baby boy is one of the sweetest smells.

As long as he hasn't eaten a banana recently :)

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What happened?

The months have passed by so quickly and now summer is over. I can't remember most of the weeks that have passed since they have been like a rollercoaster out of control. I've been keeping my boys busy with parks and swimming. Running in the backyard and chasing them at the "monkey place". We've played in the dirt and fixed toys with duct tape. Taken camping trips and gone to the beach. How much is too much? Slowly, it is starting to feel like I'm riding in a boat like Tom Hanks does in “You've Got Mail”. Round and round and round - moving but not going anywhere. Then at the same time I keep waking up with the question of “how did I get here?” echoing in my head. Suddenly, my little boy is 3 years old and we will soon be celebrating munchkin's 1st birthday. Frustrated that my mind has become garbled with all that has come to pass, I need to focus on my life. I have plans to make some changes. Not little, most people wouldn't notice changes, but the bold, jump off into the unknown and freak everyone out kind of changes. Everyone needs a good swift shift.

So jump on in this boat and let's head out beyond. Don't be afraid to take the chance. And soon I will know how I got there. With courage, determination, and probably lots of duct tape.

Busy as the bees

Let's look at my week in rewind.

Friday -- drop off sister at airport so she can go to Vegas. Lucky.

Saturday -- spend time back at home with my parents.

Sunday -- pick up sister from the airport much later than expected since her flight was delayed nearly 2 hours. Maybe not so lucky.

Monday -- stay home with kids. I think we were all tired from the trip to Nana's house.

Tuesday -- go to a new park. Had a great time until it was time to leave and then it was total meltdown as we crossed the parking lot. At least there's mostly very understanding parents looking on and giggling slightly, thankful it's not their screaming tot.

Wednesday -- drive into park parking lot to check out what time the pool opens. Thankfully, this time nobody but me and little bitty got to hear the screams of "slide, slide". Go to Target to wait out the time before the pool opens and have another breakdown, this time over sharks. Boy, 20 minutes sure ticks by slowly when your child is having an exorcist moment. And then there was the pool. We had a blast, until of course it came time to leave. He was so mad he took his shoes back off and chucked them and tried to put his float back on so he could go swimming. Sometimes I really wish I was an octopus so that I'd be able to easily manage carrying little bitty (in his carseat) and the bag and the float AND a kicking 2 yr old to the parking lot. I'm sure that people in the neighboring city could hear us.

Thursday -- leave little bitty at home and try to give big boy a good day to himself. We went to an indoor inflatable playplace. After initial tears of panic..I could not slow the boy down. He had more fun bouncing and sliding and falling than some of the older kids running around. And he managed to not even freak out when it was time to go. We spent over 2 hours so maybe that's the trick...make him too tired to yell anymore. We then spent the latter of the afternoon chalking the backyard patio and ourselves.

Friday -- what? Haven't we done enough already.....perhaps we'll tackle Sam's.

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Just Call Me Mummy...

Who I Am...

I'm a mom to 2 crazy boys that keep me running in circles most of the time. I am always wondering if I'm teaching them anything or is it the other way around? As the time passes, I've discovered that it's mostly a little of both. My husband reassures me that no matter what we do...the boys will be smarter than either of us. I'm hoping that's a good thing. But sometimes things do have a way of rubbing off on those crazy boys.. and I'm always reminded of that every time my 3 year old says "Thank you Mummy".

I didn't sign up for this...

And it's going to be okay...

It's Official...(and a kiss is all it takes)

Dilemma

Observation

What happened?

Busy as the bees

Just Call Me Mummy...

Who I Am...

About Me

Followers

Those whom I Follow

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